The Sandwich Solution

[aderam]

So I was having trouble figuring out how to write about the Bible (yey for mini-paper questions that don't give you a choice of what to write) while staying true to what I actually think and not getting into how very wrong it all is, and I was getting nowhere. I talked to both of my roommates who were at home, both of whom were good sounding boards but didn't really have much in the way of answers to my problem. So I went back to my desk, picked up a pen that I aquired while sailing on the Bounty (It's for "Lifegaurd Alaska" and I have no idea how it got to the Bounty, but it's a nice pen), and started trying to write out various reasons why Job had a better understanding of God than Adam and Eve did.

Then I found myself writing out a truely bizarre metaphor that somehowlet me write out the whole bloody thing (sans metaphor) in fourty more words than were necessary.

What's the metaphor you ask? Understanding God = a Sandwich.

(Yes you did read that properly)

Understanding God is like a Sandwich. Adam and Eve were given The Sandwich (note the capital letters) right after they were created, but if you just get a sandwich then you don't really know what's in the sandwich until you tak it apart. Thus the Fall. Adam and Eve, exercising their free will throw The Sandwich all over the ground so that thye can see what's inside, but then they're so upset that they broke The Sandwich that they can't bear to look at the thing. This is where Job comes in, several thousand years later, and is forced by Satan (minion of God) to put The Sandwich back together. Job succeeds! And because he had to identify and find out how all the pieces of The Sandwich fit together he has some super awesome knowledge of The Sandwich. Of course it's been sitting on the ground for the past few thousand years, so it's all covered in dirt and not the same, but it's the best that any of us fallen humans are ever going to get, and it's better than Adam and Eve managed.

P.S. I'm not at all interested in a religious debate, I didn't even want to deal with this question in the first place, but here I am and even if I'm so wrong that I may fall off the edge of the world of right I'd realy prefer to wait and hear it from my Prof. On the other hand if you want to share in the ridiculousness of my brain, or add any other stupid metaphors about usually serious things I'd LOVE to hear them!

Comments

[spot1000.livejournal.com]

our engineering knowledge teacher compaired our class to wildabeasts of the serringetti... saying how the ones that fall behind are like the sick ones that the lions prey on... as he left the class he said very sterly "the lions are watching" we all just sat at our desks rather petrified...

and i was wondering where i got the idea for sandwiches from earlier today

[jetfx.livejournal.com]

By any chance is that metaphor inspired by Laura Penny? I remember her discussing St Augustine as a journey of ass and sandwiches.

[hobbitbabe.livejournal.com]

This is a great metaphor and (whether you want to hear it or not) pretty consistent with the parts of orthodox Christian doctrine that I subscribe to.

[pishkin.livejournal.com]

Ooohhh! I love it! Sandwiche is a brilliant metaphor and v much like something that I would come up with to try to esplain computers to myself (I have a hard time with that...) Hmmm... God = computers? Prolly not. Still, brilliant metaphor, and helpful for esplaining what Job was on about too.

Since you wanted to hear about silly metaphors I got one for you... well, not really a metaphor, but this is my version of the Papacy:

The Pope - in a nutshell:

Jesus - "hey Peter, look after these idjits while I'm gone"

Peter - "pope dance!" *does pope dance*

Peter - "I'm gonna die soon, someone else needs to do the pope dance now"

Peter - *dies*

Next Guy - "Pope dance!" *does pope dance*

*pope dance carries on for a while*

Some Guy doing the pope dance - "I'm gonna die soon. You guys fight over who gets to do the pope dance after me"

Two Other Guys - *fights*

Some Guy - *dies*

One of the Other Guys - "Rome ain't big enough for the both of us" *goes east*

Both Other Guys *intercontinental pope dance*

and so on and so forth.

Ah, the amusing things I think up in my spare time...

Disclaimer: This is in no way intended to be all-encompassing or even accurate. Just funny. So no one yell at me for leaving stuff out.

OH,OH!

[superjamie.livejournal.com]

and the dirt on the sandwich is sin! I AM THE GREATEST PHILOSIPHER EVER!

because sin is bad and dirt on your sandwich is bad. although i bet if sin were a flavor it would be really tastey. maybey sin is more like bacon bits, which make everthing taste better. so the sandwich feel in bacon bits for several thousand years. which is why it doesn't taste the same but it's still a really good sandwich. yeah, that sounds good. and that analogy works because i bet there was a bacon bit tree in the garden of eaden. or do bacon bits grow on trees? who knows....but i want a sandwich.

brilliant thinking once again my beloved little sister and like always i have now wandered so far off topic i'm hungry. so good day.

[dungeontales.livejournal.com]

AWEsome metaphor. I approve heartily. And hungrily.

The metaphor that's annoying me? When people (read: boys) say, "Just cause I've ordered doesn't mean I can't look at the menu." Not cause there's anything particularily wrong with boys looking. (Or girls looking either.) Just because NO ONE LOOKS AT THE MENU AFTER THEY ORDER!!! The waiters take the menu away from you. They only give it back if you ask extra special nice, and pretend you're planning on buying dessert. And that's not where the metaphor OUGHT to be heading.

After all, imagine the following conversation with reference to boys/girls: "Just cause I've ordered doesn't mean I can't look at the menu. Just figure, I might order dessert."